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Just call me Sponge Beth Chunky Pants
Tuesday, Mar. 11, 2003, 7:17 A.M.

I get kinda goofy at work toward the end of the shift, and now that I am home, I must be really off my rocker, because I was just thinking of how funny it would be to have a cartoon based on my life. I think it would be quite amusing. This character would be a chunky girl whose super powers make people fat. If anyone would make fun of her, she'd just make them fat too so they could see what it's like to be like her. (What a cool power!) Anyway, just an idea. I just want a fat gun where I can make people fat. That would teach people not to poke fun at us chunky girls. Well until this fat gun idea ever works, I guess I'll be stuck using the good ol' middle finger, and snappy comebacks such as the following:

Snappy Comebacks for Fat Wisecracks


Remark:"You're fat!"
My answer: Oh no! I knew I shouldn't have eaten those doughnuts last night!
Remark:"Eat less fries" My answer:"Eat more fries"
Remark:"I'm glad my girlfriend dosen't look like that! My answer:"Yeah but your girlfriend will never be as good as me in bed!"
Remark:"You'd be so much prettier if you'd only lose weight My answer:"You'd be so much more tolerable if you'd talk less"
Remark:"You shouldn't be eating that" My answer:"Excuse me, but did you lose 140 pounds in the last year and a half? No? Well I did so fuck off."

So yeah. I got all the bases covered.

*Bethy*

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