Ranting about society (I'm sure this won't be the last time)
Wednesday, Mar. 05, 2003, 1:30 P.M.

I am going to go off on a huge rant right now, which gives me the need to show you this picture that I found online, which conveys how I am feeling right now:

So yeah, that's how I feel right now. Adam and I were having a discussion about how society is, and I got all enraged and decided to write this entry. What I am angry about is that there are tons of fat (or at least overweight) guys on TV, and it's not a problem at all for people. These guys are portrayed as being married to these skinny "attractive" (by society) girls, and successful. There has hardly ever been an instance where there was a fat/overweight girl on TV who was married to a sexy guy. If they did this, they would be taking a gamble with the network. Why is this, you ask? Because there is so much pressure put on girls to be skinny. So much pressure that it makes my stomach churn. It makes me sick that most people are so ignorant. People have blamed me on their eating disorders, accused me of being a "fat ass who lays around all day", and have just been so ignorant to me. If I didn't have such a high self-esteem, this would have really affected me! I can't believe people actually teach their children to make fun of fat people, too. And most of this is directed toward girls. There are tons of sites online that are fat-positive toward guys. The majority of the fat girl sites are porn, with captions like "we like fat girls because they are easy" and shit like that. It makes me so fumed. Fat Joe went to the MTV video music awards with this girl who was like a size 2. Hardly anyone made fun of him. If one of the sexy rocker or rapper type guys went with a girl near the size of fat joe, he would have been the laughing stock of the entire entertainment industry. Why do people have to be so closed minded? We, as women, do not have to look a certain way to be eye candy for total strangers. Fuck what other people think. I can't believe the amount of fat hating that goes on every day on the internet. These people have even called Emme (plus size model, size 14) a "fat ass". This is the AVERAGE size of women in the United States! Why should we bow down and cater to what everyone wants us to look like? And why should I go on a diet to please other people? I am on a diet because I am diabetic and I have to be on this diet or I will die. Health is the ONLY reason that I am on this diet. Who gives anyone the right to call anyone a "Fat ass" or a "lazy bitch"? How do they know that this girl is lazy? For all they know, she could be a weightlifter or have a job that she busts ass at every night (like me). The moral of the story is that they don't stop and consider other possibilities, they just look and laugh and make their nasty ugly selves feel better. I for one am sick of this bullshit and I want there to be more positive things around us for chunky girls. We don't have to be a size 7 and below, most of us weren't built that way. We need to have more positive things around because all I see is negative. And how are we supposed to change the way we feel about ourselves if all we are exposed to is all this negativity? I hold my head high every day, because this is who I am and if I am not accepted, fine. Because I know deep down in my heart that I accept myself as a beautiful person. Fuck what society says. Fuck what the entertainment industry says. There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel, and I guarantee you, when I find it, I'll let all of you know so that light can shine brighter than any light that they've ever seen. Be proud of yourself. You are original, your body is original, and you are UNIQUE and BEAUTIFUL. Stand up, and be PROUD. There is no one in this whole entire world that can ever tell you that you aren't less than you believe you are.

Sorry, I just had to rant. I'm better for now.