Extended family sucks
Saturday, Jan. 18, 2003, 12:56 P.M.

The following is a rant. I am very angry right now at a certain situation, so I'm going to vent. Thanks for letting me express myself without me having to smack my head off the wall several times.

My family really pisses me off. They make it seem like I am such a horrible person, and that I have nothing better to do with my time than sit on my fat ass and watch TV. I called over to my grandparents house about an hour ago (right after I got up from sleeping after work) and my cousin answered the phone. She asked if I was going to go over today, and I said I was going tomorrow. I told her that I've been having panic attacks because it's really hard to see my grandmother this way, and that I have been really depressed. Instead of understanding, she said "Yeah well if you really loved her, you'd come over and help take care of her." Okay, bitch....I have a full time job that drains me practically, I work with 90% dementia/alzheimer patients already, and I was planning on going over there anyway tomorrow, I told you that. How the fuck does she know what my life is like? Oh, yeah, I forgot, her father (my uncle, the Jolly Mean Giant) spies on me all the fucking time. That's how they know. It just pisses me off that they can't be just a little bit understanding that this woman raised me my whole life and I have to take care of her like she's one of my patients. But no. They don't understand that. They think that I have no emotional connection to her whatsoever, and that I am just sitting at home playing video games and laughing about the whole situation.

I'm not that fucking evil, people. I have feelings.

I swear if my grandmother passes away and my uncle gets in my face at the funeral, I'm going to knock him out. I'm sick and tired of all the bullshit, and him saying that I'm ungrateful. I'd like to see him last 5 minutes at my job. Especially when we have a hard night like we did last night. Heaven forbid I stop and take a fucking break. It just makes me so angry that they have to be like that. I would do anything for my grandparents. I love them with every beat of my heart, for they are pretty much my parents. They'd do antyhing for me, and I am grateful for that. I realize how good it's been, and I thank them almost every day for what they've given me.

But my uncle thinks I'm a bitch and a half. Well good for him. Let's all throw a pity party because he dosen't get respect from them like I do. I am so stressed, and it's going to take all my strength to get through work tonight. I'm so frustrated, and no one understands my sitution. Everyone thinks that all I do is just take them for granted while I sit at home having fun. Okay I worry about her a lot. Thus the panic attacks.

But they'd never understand that.

Damn family.