Love, Disclaimer, and new food diary
Sunday, Apr. 27, 2003, 7:00 P.M.

It makes me happy when people put comments about me in their profile when they list me as a favorite. I was just reading through them and some of them almost made me cry. They said things like "my new role model" and "I wish I had her confidence." I am so glad to have people like you guys who are inspired by the self-confidence that I want to portray in this diary. Every single one of you can be confident. You can learn to love your body, and don't tell me that it's impossible. I know what it feels like to wake up and wonder why I couldn't just go back to sleep forever. I know what it's like to look in the mirror and be physically nauseated by the sight of yourself. I know what it's like, I've been there before. But what I'm trying to tell you is look at me now. I went from a depressed, severely overweight (395 pounds), self-loathing, irritable, ugly person...and turned into a happy, 140+ pounds less, beautiful, chubby, confident person. It can happen. If any of you have any questions for me, I'm here for you.

I guess some people think that I've hated on skinny girls here before. I don't think that I've done that, but if I have, I'm sorry. I can't help it if some people sign my guestbook and say things about them. That's their opinion, and I don't take any responsibility for the opinions shared within my notes or my guestbook. I just thought I'd share that, for the people who think I'm anti-skinny. I'm not anti-skinny. I'm anti-people who think that just because I'm fat it means that I eat my weight in food every day, and that I lay around.

On that note, I've created a food diary, because I would like to lose the last 50 pounds so I'll be down to 210 (my goal weight). It's called "the-last-50" because the last 50 pounds are always the hardest to lose. It's at http://the-last-50.diaryland.com. It's boring, because it just shows the stuff I ate. Oh well. I guess everything can't be interesting.

Well, I'm going to get movin here, I'll write more tomorrow, because I feel a funny entry coming on.